I haven't updated on awhile. You might think that I've been enjoying the summer, but even though I do love the summer (in my own ways), I haven't exactly been out celebrating it. I've been in front of my computer, trying to finish the computer game called Hexen 2. I'm on the last level of it now and maybe I'll finish it later today. After that I'll probably get into The Sims again. I am the asocial animal you know...
There is something that annoys me. I've written about it before, but I wanted to write about it again today, because when I lay awake and couldn't sleep last night; it kept cooking in my head. There are many things I want to write about here, I have already written several entries in my head, eventually they will all be displayed here. Just wait and see...
Over to the thing that bothers me. Let me tell you about what it is; subcultures, environmental groups, cults, call it what you like. I've said and I've written here earlier that I like the creativity you can find in some subcultures, I still want to stand by that. However, now I feel I dislike subcultures for it's uncreativeness. Let me explain. In many ways the Internet is a big subculture in it itself, with many small subcultures inside the big one and the outlook of one big chaos. Trough all my years with a web connection, I've met so many people online, so many interesting people and so many different types of people, from all around the world. However very often they can seem like a big pile of the same matter, when you look at it from your four walled screen. It's not a good feeling, because it's the feeling you can get at the local supermarket sometimes, when you just wish you were home.
I first discovered subcultures when I was around fifteen and started an art High School. I always wanted to go to a school were I could paint and I was bored of the old grey theory subjects like mathematics. There were a very different kind of environment there than the one that existed in Junior High. It was when I realized how immature people can be, people that try to be mature. I mean it was then I saw Junior High with it's childish group mentality and anonymous insecurity. I've never liked school, I always skipped a lot in Junior High. I weren't really extremely different that anyone else (even though I often felt that way), I belonged to the same soldier alike behavior. Some fall out, some do well and others freak out. The thing is that we never learned anything about individuality in the obligatory school, nothing about being responsible of trying to be ourselfs and creating a healthy enviroment, that others would feel good about. Everything where so secretive and serious. There were things we shouldn't express, shouldn't do and shouldn't be, then there were these things that we should express, should do and should be. Of course there are things that are negative to express, do or be, but very often the school environment seemed to more express the importance of less important things you should and shouldn't be. It's not really strange then that a lot of people grow up to be just like they were when they were teenagers; dropouts, winners and having the group mentality as their most important religion, the thing that made them popular or lonely in school...
I hated school even more when I discovered what group mentality really is and what it can do to people. See, I found a good environment in the art school I went to. I finally found something I actually looked forward to do. The first year in High School were not a fun year, not a good year, but it was the year that I matured and found people that were different than me and that still accepted me for my differences. Afterwards, I went to a Christian Folk High School and in many ways I had a better year, even though I often felt it was in some ways a mistake for me to go there. I met a lot of nice people and people I didn't like as well, just like in any other place. The group mentality that I found there however, were not something I wanted to be a part of. I learned in this school that the group mentality is not necessarily greater in religious environments, but they can often be easier to discover.
I found that; In my opinion it's not religions, beliefs, places or people that are negative. I've talked to a lot of people that complain about these things, just like everything would have been so much better if we didn't have these things. They are not necessarily wrong about what they are saying, I belive they are unconscious of the fact that we created religions, in all it's human glory. They are violent, spiritual and compassionate just like our own ways. They have made us better, they have made us worse and we shape them after ourselfs. I think it's the groups that bring out the negative sides in ideas. When people go out to demonstrate against a political idea, they go there as an individual, but they join a group. In the media they often refer to these groups as subcultures and rather see it for it's negativity, than the positive opinions the individuals inside the masses might have. Because individuality is not individual for the groups, the group in itself are suppose to illustrate one typical individual. I want to be fair and say that I dislike all groups because of this, even the once that are non-violent and carry a positive theme, but I can like an individual that belongs to a group. I respect all beliefs, as long as they are honestly and individually chosen. Someone told me once that it's not Islam that are negative, it's the group mentality of Islam, knowing how religion have been mentioned almost every time there is some violence in the news, we often end up seing the religion rather than the people. It's sad to think about when acctually religion have it's creative and good sides too. It's sad to think about that we dont really want to see violence as a human problem and instead blame the other peoples religions...
A lot of people complain about religious peoples preaching and often keep it as a reason for them to not mingle with people that have a different mind. I've never had it at home, but I have hated preaching too, of all forms, but now that I'm older I somehow dont experience it that much anymore. I dont know, but I think preaching is more irritating for people that are unsure on themselves, or have had bad experiences with religious people. It's understandable. However, preaching is also understandable, we all do it sometimes, generally because we are a social animal, we want to give, share and take. Preaching may not be very respectful in all occasion, but people use it in every type of group enviroment and that is something to remember. If we cant learn something from people that are not like our own kind, then we probably dont really have a lot of intellect either.
I dont want to be so narrow minded, only able to pick my friends, like I pick an apple, saying -"I like these ones best and you cant get good ones any other place". I dont want to be so narrow minded, that I treat my friends, like cutting away the bad parts on an apple, saying -"You can be like this, but not like that".
