I got complaints on my baby icon, some people didn't like it. I dont like to offend anyone, but I dont want to be too serious here either, often I belive I make that impression, that I'm too serious. I'm not really like that in person, too serious and strict and I dont want people to see me that way. Although I dont really care so much about impression anymore, as I did years ago. I'm older now and it's more important today; that I know myself than that people see me for something I want to be.
The last entry was depressive and moody, so I want this one to be happy and posetive. People got concerned and I dont want that. I have a mood that runs like a roller coaster, up and down, people that know me have the most problems with it, but I cheer up very quickly. Often I feel bad about my aggressions, but I've always been like this, moody, introverted and snappy. People that are cool, outgoing and always polite dont understand my behaviour at all and I dont understand theirs. Somehow we work it out and it's no deep hate behind any of it. I just want to let things out now and then... but of course there is a seriousness behind aggressively expressed emtions too, it's not to forget. My opinion is; we can learn things from eatch other, learn from our differences and be open to that...
See, I'm very posetive today. Yesterday it was not such a good day for me. I had a spider on my desk her, it walked over everything. It was in the middle of the night and no one could help me with it, as they were sleeping. The spider had come from my open window apparently. I have a wire screen curtain in front of it, to keep them out, but very often there are small torn holes in it of course, that comes from pulling in the window. The spider disappeared and I had to go down in the living room to sleep on the couch there, as I didn't want to sleep or be in my spider room then. I had slept for five minutes when I woke up of my dad pulling the venetian blinds away from the windows. He hadn't seen me lying there on the couch he said. Ah, there were sun coming from everywhere, even with the venetian blinds pulled down and I couldn't possibly sleep. Then my dad sat down in a chair and started to count all his coins, one by one, on the table. The sun, the coins ringing on the table; In that moment I wish I had accepted the spider and slept in my dark and quiet room. Later on my brother found the spider apparently and I relaxed and more or less slept myself trough the day, in front of the computer, with my window closed. The problem is not the spider of course, as it's goon now. The problem is that my room is hot like an oven and I live in constant fear of the small monsters... I know they always come back, they have families, children and eggs, almost everywhere...
Lately I have taken some of these new kinds of surveys, that they have here on Diaryland. I filled out one called Aliens Only and another one called Best Of and Delicious. This is childish fun of course and it can keep you busy when you have nothing better to do.
